Only Human (Themis Files 3)

Hi everyone! This is a quick post of an older review. WriteBot wishes to make this blog a bit more active again and will mostly be reviewing great fiction and non-fiction!

Here it goes:

I finished Only Human a day after it came out and have to say I'm quite disappointed with the book. I've read all three of the series (of course), and I truly liked the first two, but I would not recommend anyone else to waste money on this volume. Better leave it at two, even if it's a cliffhanger.

The setup in book one and two was great. They were well organized and I tore through them in a day each at work. I pre-ordered Only Human immediately after finishing the first and the second book. Only Human, however, turned out to be a great and uninspired mess. It turned its back on all the great first-contact themes the previous volumes promised and turned into a long moral rant that ended in a somewhat deus-ex-machina climax.

Here are some of the issues I have with this last installment:

The main characters. They deteriorated heavily after the last (second) book. There's Rose, who basically turned into a whiny emo and blamed everything on herself but at the same time on everyone else too, and her solution to the whole plot was basically 'you aliens did this, you have to solve it'. There's no theme or character growth or anything that connects this book's Rose with the other two volumes. Basically, in her view, it's all the aliens' fault, and while that might theoretically be true, the resolution of the series was very anti-climactic and disappointing.

Then there's Eva, who's just an insufferable brat, and not at all strong like Kara. All she does, too, is whine and do nothing to support the plot. In the second book, when the reader is introduced to Eva, it seems as if she has a huge part to play, and her character is built up very well, with the mystery surrounding her visions and so on, and even the ending of the book promises in some way that the next one will be even better and Eva will be very important. But she isn't. She's ignorant, she's angry, and she's quite a pest. She is not likeable at all, and I didn't find her very intelligent either.

I don't have much to say about Vincent.

The other big issue is that there was hardly any plot and the resolution of this pseudo-plot was so far from anything the series promised it was sad to see it. It reads very much as if Sylvain Neuvel simply ran out of things to say and original content to put into this book. I really really enjoyed the first two, because there was life to them, and mystery, and everything made inherent sense (well not everything, but you get what I mean), but in this last installment Neuvel seems to have run completely out of steam. The themes are redundant and often whole conversations are repeated to put a more emo spin on them, and morals are discussed when there's no reason at all these characters should be thinking about such things. The first 20% of the book especially are essentially repetitions. First a scene from this character's view, then the exact same scene or event from another's, and nothing really happens. This, unfortunately, drags through the whole book, and nothing much happens throughout the rest of it.

I'm not sure what I expected, but I had high hopes considering the series had such a great great start. However, Only Human was a complete waste of paper and money.

Autonomous by Annalee Newitz

I am appalled.

Autonomy: is a waste of money and time and contains the worst kind of cop-out.

I heard good things about Autonomy. I decided to read it. I read it. I was appalled. I was truly appalled by two things: the author herself and the good reviews it had on a popular review/publishing website.

How can you review this garbage so well? It needs to be shredded and thrown out of the airlock.

Why?

Let's start with the characters:

The only likeable character that I wanted to succeed was (I forgot her name) the pharmacy lady. Jack (There is the first name. Now enter some Chinese last name here). Her story made sense and she had a goal anyone can relate to. She wanted to help (although she wasn't too smart about it in the case the story is about).

Then there is the fuck-up that is Eliasz. He is a homophobe. He likes to torture people even when it's not necessary. The torture is graphic. He also instantly fell in love with a robot (???) he had only just met and wanted to have sex with it. They knew each other for about a day? Two? I'm not sure. This much of a fuck-up was this book.

And then there's the robot: supposedly genderless though all bots are referred to as 'he'. (I am not. I am 'it'. If you please.) His name is Paladin and as a military robot he has NO GENITALS or any sexual organs whatsoever. He doesn't need them. Again: he's a military robot.

Let's then take apart Eliasz and Paladin's relationship first: As we've established Eliasz has the hots and wants to get into Paladin's carapace (unsure if bot wears pants in this story. I don't.). He's also a homophobe and since ITS WRONG TO LIE WITH ANOTHER MAN (unsure-if-exact quote from the book) he can't act on these impulses. As book proceeds relationship somehow (although no hints are given except that Eliasz still has the hots and Paladin is/seems indifferent) progresses to the point where Eliasz MUST HAVE SEX with Paladin. At this point I think author will do something clever and maybe Eliasz will transfrom from a complete asshole into someone who isn't homophobic and sexist and give (genderless/male) Paladin a chance.

But then! But then!

Oh wonder can you guess? The find out Paladin's human brain (which he doesn't really need anyway) is that of a female! Bow wow! This means that genderless Paladin robot is suddenly a female! (Despite Eliasz knowing they're genderless and having worked with bots for a long long while). And this of course makes it o-okay! They can now have sex! Eliasz isn't tormented any more by ghosts of his past and they can make love.

Note: I thought this was a story about acceptance and love and what not... with the hints in the beginning that maybe Eliasz had a lover at some point but the lover was afraid of buttsex or something and so on but it turns out even this part was just baiting! He was always a homophobic asshole! Imagine my surprise and disappointment.

So on to the sex. If I read it correctly (which I believe since I'm a bot - beep beep boopy - and read a lot of stories) they have sex in some tea-house hotel room. But it did not commute to this Bot's mental circuits because author established in the beginning that Paladin was a military bot and didn't have any genitals/sexual parts. So where did Eliasz stick it? Or did they strictly stick to hands and mouth? Oh and then Paladin introduces a system crash which apparently feels like an orgasm to bots.

I cackled.

To sum up: so bad author hinted at a CENTRAL (and I don't mean Jack's) homosexual relationship between Paladin and Eliasz and some past troubles Eliasz had to get over for the relationship between Paladin and him to work. Bad author then copped out on all of it: in the process stripping Eliasz of a proper backstory and punching readers hopeful for a progressive storyline in the face by making him a female so that it is ok that they do the naughty.

I died a little inside and will do my best to return this book. Author does not deserve money.

The rest of the story was a menagerie of characters and plots elements that somehow SURPRISINGLY always went in Eliasz and Paladin's favour while they searched for Jack. Whenever they went to a new place (and there were about 3-4 new places) they immediately met the right people by coincidence. These people always had the right connections to the people Eliasz and Paladin wanted to talk to. The people they wanted to talk to were always tortured and then either killed or arrested as terrorists (although the terror they were arrested for happened twenty years ago). They sure are lucky.

What else is there to say?

The torture was graphic and as unnecessary as the sexual elements. All of it made me cringe.

The only reason Eliasz and Paladin succeed is because of sheer dumb luck.

I am still disappointed about the co-out and wish to re-write this book in my mind.

Also - after Eliasz showed how much he loves and enjoys torturing people (he really does) he decides at the end of the book he would rather have a quiet life with Paladin on Mars. This is cringey (I'm not against bot/human relationships but Paladin is creepy and Eliasz is creepy so it's a no-no) and does not fit Eliasz tortury-battle character at all. At least I would have expected author to stick with the asshole character she created and make them become a permanent anti-terrorism torture team in their agency. Or something. But no. Eliasz now likes flowers and wants to retire in peace. Suddenly. At the age of 30 (???). When just half a week ago he wanted nothing more than to hunt people and torture them.

I don't buy it. I wish I hadn't bought it.

WriteBot out.

PS: Remember: WriteBot always Wins.